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April 19, 2006

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Praise be that the blessed and true name of the one and only big G has at last been revealed as the Lord Galobet by his most unhumble prophet Brian!

Blessed be Brian for he is the Messiah! ‘No he’s not, he’s a very naughty boy’ (our Lord Terry Jones in Life of Brian).

Truly Brian is the greatest prophet since Paul Atreides and truly his cup of morning coffee is as potent as the spice melange! (Must have read Frank Herberts Dune to decipher these esoteric comments!).

Verily the theologians are already at work at deciphering the message of the prophet and his caffeine induced revelation. The holy church of Galobet needs a symbol for its worship. May I suggest we worship the symbol of the mighty French roast bean, which is truly the vehicle for the transmission of the most high revelation.

The cup of French roast (brewed to ferocious strength as only the prophet can) needs to be our new sacrament, providing we can have nice English digestive biscuits with it!

I predict a long and estimable future for this one and only true religion. With any luck the persecutions of unbelievers would start in a few hundred years and I predict a fully fledged inquisition in about 600 years.

We the followers of the one called Brian are ready to be soldiers for Galobet and commit intellectual suicide in public by spreading the holy word.

I’ve just had my morning coffee but will be changing from Brazilian to French roast! For it is the one and only way to experience the revelation of Galobet!

Thank you for the news - you really need to set up some sort of meeting house, a Galobet website, radio & TV station, appearances at major sports stadiums (as you are His Prophet); and then there's the book tours, TV interviews and daily 'inspirational' emails, cell phone texts and other outreach methods.

Just one question - what happens if the Supreme Being breaks through into my consciousness with a different name for Himself? Who's right - me or you? And did the grains of ground coffee left over from your French Roast form a sacred image for us to worship..?

Ah, praise Galobet--my first two acolytes. I was getting worried that this would be a religion of one, but I should have had more faith.

Paul, however, displays some disturbing spiritual independence. He asks what happens if the Supreme Being breaks into his own consciousness. "Who's right--me or you?"

What kind of a question is that, Paul? The obvious answer is...me. Hope this changes your mind. If the question comes up again, remember to answer "me."

Except you'd need to say "you," because when I say "me" I'm referring to me, not you, so if you said this yourself, you'd be getting the truth backwards.

If this isn't crystal clear, have a strong cup of french roast. Then you'll see what I mean.

Nick, I like your evident devotion. However, the persecution of unbelievers can't wait for a few hundred years. I, the founder, will be dead by then. I want to be around to rejoice in the persecutions.

It needs to start now. Since we've only got three Galobet faithful standing tall for the faith at the moment, it's going to be tough to do a whole lot of persecuting. The numbers aren't on our side. Still, Jesus started with only nine more, and look how wonderfully Christianity has been able to torture, condemn, vilify, and excommunicate.

Gives me hope. We need to start small and go from there. Believers, when you hear someone say "God damn it!" get in their face and scream "No! Don't blaspheme, you sinner! Say 'Galobet damn it!'"

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