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April 17, 2006


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So, you're sure that faith in a resolution of mystery is viable?
Because there is a possible world characterized by "genuine knowledge of ultimate reality"?

The words point to the thoughts and feelings, the logic and the love, and so "not this, not that" is the determination that there is not an ultimate thing for the words to point to, but to what do the thoughts and feelings, the doubt and grief, point?

Are you sure uncertainty is the right method?

Edward, I'm not sure of anything. Including uncertainty. If I were to be sure of uncertainty, I'd be at cross purposes with myself.

But if I'm sure of anything, it is this: ultimate reality is real. There is something at the bottom of it all. Or the top. Whatever. Even if it is the Buddhist "emptiness," interrelatedness from top to bottom, that still is something real.

What I'm attracted to is getting to that thing, whatever it is. I don't feel that you get to the ultimate by stopping part way. It's all or nothing with ultimate reality. Logically that makes sense to me. Intuitively also.

Going the "all" route seems impossible. I'm so small, so powerless, so ignorant, so clueless. The "nothing" route seems more doable. Just almost impossible compared to completely impossible.

So what does "nothing" mean? I don't know. Which is why uncertainty appeals to me so much. It seems to be the feet that you use to walk along the Path of Nothing. Certainty stops you in your tracks. Or at least slows you down while you pause to admire what you're so certain about.

I don't have the guts to fully embrace Nothing. I'm afraid of dying. I'm too much in love with the bullshit in my brain. But I'm reaching out to it through uncertainty. Trying to make friends with it. Hoping one day I can look Nothing in the face and not turn away.

I suspect Nothing is the same as the All. One. A circle that has no end, turning back upon itself. But I don't know. I don't know nothing, that's all I know.

Brian, I empathize with your search for the "real". Yet all concepts and words such as "real" only have meaning in relation to the opposite. In this case, the un-real. Perhaps the "real" is not something, and not something which is in contrast to something else. It all comes down to the definitation of what does "real" actually mean. I am sure you know this and the limitations of our words.

As you said: "There is something at the bottom of it all. Or the top. Whatever. Even if it is the Buddhist "emptiness," interrelatedness from top to bottom, that still is something real." Yes, there is obviously something appearing as the cosmos, and which may be deeper or beyond the cosmos that we refer to as 'existence', but is it some THING? Is it "real", or is the notion of "real" only relative?

The bottom-line seems to be that each of us only knows what we experience, what we perceive as our existence; that is, our sense of beingness, our sense perceptions, our thoughts, our apparent body, and the continuity of our daily life.

You said: "...getting to that thing, whatever it is." If it is as you said: "at the bottom of it all", then it must be pretty close by. If it is down deep inside of everything, then we don't need to go elsewhere, because IT is at the heart of everything. In fact, IT must be at the heart of us. If that is the case, then we do not need to do anything to get it, because we already have it,...or more properly, IT is being us. If that is the case, then all attempts at "getting to that thing" are unnecessary and meaningless. If that is the case, then WE...ARE IT.

The mystery is simply this: Even though IT is really US all along, we foolishly go around seeking to find IT and to get IT.

IT, is simply everyone ... or maybe there is no one ... maybe there is only IT.

I am in love with the bullshit in your brain, too. I sense the identity of all and nothing, and really, the special effects of this reality that make the distinction so all-fired important are wonderful.

I also sense that this kind of not-searching takes a lot of attraction and little energy: like tao says the center must be pretty close by, or as that other guy said, the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Dear Brian, Scott Young, and other readers,
Like most all of the "western" type of religions, Christians of most denominations/groups adhere to the following basic theological principle: Accept the truth and validity of what I proclaim, or - if not - then be thou eternally goddamned. It's quite simple (even though the spectrum of Christian denominations/theologies disagree among themselves): submit to the ego proclaiming his variety of "Christian truth," or go to hell. Aside from bothering to study the Bible seriously, that general attitude among the largest number of Christians is what contributed greatly to my becoming a "born-again" non-Christian.
Robert Paul Howard

You're entitled to your own beliefs, however I can't help but notice
-if I'm wrong and Christianity is false and there is no heaven and hell then I just end up dead,
-if you're wrong you have eternal torture in hell.
plus Jesus isn't dead, that's what separates Christianity from other religions, Jesus rose again after dying, he didn't die again after that.

Though it probably doesn't matter what I say because until you really feel Jesus in you and your life you are not going to want to accept him as your Lord and saviour, no matter how many facts and viewpoints you're presented with.

Also the reason that so many Christians contact you is because they care and do not want you to go through eternal torture.

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