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October 08, 2005


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Refreshing reading...
My earliest memories are ones of anxiety that grew into an agorophoboc safety zone throughout my teen years. My days were filled with anxiety and my parents felt that whatever I had, I'd outgrow it. One night after waves of unbearable anxiety, I walked to the front of the Baptist church and dropped to my knees. I was 16. I prayed for God to save me from this unbearable feeling and promised to "serve him" in return. I did not really understand the term, just that it sounded Christian. The anxiety did abate and as a matter of fact, the next few years saw little of the intense waves of anxiety I had come to know so well.
With my teen associates of the late 60's and early 70's, we experimented with drugs and running the neighborhood. I graduated high school and went to work. There was a pleasant Jesus freak that worked there who would invite me to join him dirtriding motorcycles. About that time I had a dream of a huge plain much like salt flats. Standing in a long line and facing one another, stood soldiers dressed in Roman military garb. I appeared to stand and look down the long line of soldiers when a huge voice spoke in a language that was unfamilier, yet I understood. "YOU HAVE A WORK TO DO FOR JESUS CHRIST". I woke up in a start and a full blown anxiety attack.
I was wholly psychologically addicted to marijuana at this time. I decided to attend one of the Jesus Freak's bible studies. I did, and had them lay hands on me as I prayed for Jesus to be my savior.
Things changed in an instant. My thoughts seemed clear and light and new. Three days went by before I realized that I hadn't smoke pot or even thought about it. That was Sept 10th 1974. So much has happened since then.
I am now a mix of Taoist-Buddhist with wisps of Christianity floating round my psyche. Unconversion is good for the soul.

so there are people who followed a path for 30 to35 years of their lives before giving it up.are they dumb to take so long to understand themselves.now they are raving and ranting about rssb because it is no longer of use to them.they are even critical of the evolution of the philosophy.even after leaving the path they are pretty obsessed with it-following everything that is going on there and do not tire of focusing on the guru and his teachings.
the guru has been born a human being .his teachings include the teachings of many other religious philosophies.he advocates vegetarianism,good karma,which means good actions,meditation and belief in one God.it is all really quite simple .he does not ask anyone to renounce the world but to rejoice in living a fulfilling life.is that wrong?he lives a normal life.it is not a life of excess.if he uses comfortable mode of transport etc ,he does so because he has a very hectic schedule ,which he carries on with inspite of various health problems.he is fulfilling his duties admirably.and the reference to -subtle pressure to make donations- is totally false.and no one has any hereditary rights to property in Beas.it is fine to be spiritual while being churchless but it is a different thing to indulge in slander.

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