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June 17, 2018

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Did your father have Asperger's? That would explain his inability to connect with you and his trying to use physical things to avoid an emotional one? I don't know the answers but often when someone does what he did, it's something in them that just can't go there. Did he have a relationship with your half brother? Lots of questions but good you didn't let it ruin your life.

Ironically I just heard a woman on FB describe an identical situation with her father. Painful to say the least but she overcame it to make her life good.

I am not sure days like Father's or Mother's Day do us any favor.

My father died of lung cancer when I was 6 months old. It may have been mesothelioma since he had served in the British navy where asbestos was commonly used on the ships. He smoked a pipe. I used it for smoking weed.

I never missed him growing up because I didn't know what to miss, but I was curious about him, of course. By all accounts he was a good guy. My calculations indicate I was conceived before he and my mother were married.

Now that I have had children and understand the relationship of father and child I have a greater appreciation of what he represents, of the potential that was there. I love my father very much.

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