Collected Christmas Letters
[Note: all our Christmas letters, 1995 to 2008, are available below. I update this post annually with the newest creation.]
“A man’s soul is revealed through his Christmas letters,” it has been said (by me, just now). So I’ve decided to express my essential self this holiday season not by going downtown and volunteering at a soup kitchen, but by sitting at my laptop and converting my past holiday missives into PDF files that can be admired by the world. Or, at least, the few people who find them on this weblog.
Previously these Collected Christmas Letters of Brian Hines resided on my website, where, as I wrote about recently, they took a significant dive in search engine rankings after I fiddled with the content of a page. “What profiteth a man if his works are not looked on with favor by the great god Google?” I pondered. “Noneth at all,” came the reply from the divinity that I serve with such devotion—namely, my ego.
Thus I was led to pour the wine of my annual Brian, Laurel, and Serena (a.k.a. "The Wonder Dog") news summary into a new PDF bottle for easier reading, and to post these files on HinesSight where, hopefully, they will be more visible to those who might wish to study my oeuvre. I’ve reduced the size of some photos for a quicker download by those who, like me, have not yet been blessed with a broadband connection. To say what barely needs to be said, “get Acrobat Reader if you don’t have it already."
In the same way as the soul’s essence defies description, any attempt to summarize the theme of each wonderfully amusing and wise Christmas Letter in a few words is doomed to failure. Nonetheless, I have tried.
2008 Christmas Letter. We get into the holiday spirit with our usual fear and trembling. Turning 60, Brian notes his increasing resemblance to Willie Nelson. And his passionate love affair with a classy lady called "Mac."
Download 2008 Christmas Letter
2007 Christmas Letter. The birth of my granddaughter heals old fatherly scars (like paying out of state tuition so my daughter could win a "Best Party'er" award). A TV news screen shot adds...something to the letter. Our dog looks good, though.
Download 2007_christmas_letter.pdf
2006 Christmas Letter Brian ponders his incipient grandfatherness, a scary prospect. We also speak of dog walking, colonoscopies, Tango, land use activism, and why blogging is better than book writing.
Download 2006_christmas_letter.pdf
2005 Christmas Letter It finally hits us: We're getting old! The ramifications of this astounding discovery are explored. Photos of us are bravely shared, along with images of a headless dog and a disturbingly youthful-looking daughter/son-in-law.
Download christmas_letter_2005.pdf (778.0K)
2004 Christmas Letter We found a new realm, Hinesland, having made a post-November 2 decision that a psychic secession from the policies of the USA is called for.
Download Christmas Letter 2004.pdf (15.7K)
2003 Christmas Letter Ponderings about the nature of time and the purpose of earthly existence are stimulated by a mention of changing the sheets.
Download Christmas Letter 2003.pdf (13.9K)
2002 Christmas Letter Our EMOTE system is used to Express Moral Outrage Trenchantly and Entertainingly.
Download Christmas Letter 2002.pdf (191.1K)
2001 Christmas Letter Serena the Wonder Dog enters our life and naturally becomes the centerpiece of this year’s message.
Download Christmas Letter 2001.pdf (144.0K)
2000 Christmas Letter Locked-up in the basement by Laurel until I finish the letter, writer’s block gets eliminated by hunger, thirst, and rat bites.
Download Christmas Letter 2000.pdf (14.1K)
1999 Christmas Letter Laurel turns 50, a birthday-gift digital camera captures us and our new landscaping, and Tasha the Psycho Dog looks unnaturally peaceful.
Download Christmas Letter 1999.pdf (186.4K)
1998 Christmas Letter Depression, terror, joy, renewal, and relief get crammed into two scintillating pages.
Download Christmas Letter 1998.pdf (22.1K)
1997 Christmas Letter The “Adam” comic strip features an excerpt from my 1996 Christmas Letter. Nobody notices. Fifteen minutes of fame shrink to nanoseconds.
Download Christmas Letter 1997.pdf (54.0K)
1996 Christmas Letter Much to be thankful for: no lawsuits; no need to cope with adulation, fame, and fortune; no lack of pantry room to store supplements.
Download Christmas Letter 1996.pdf (12.2K)
1995 Christmas Letter All about angels who spark up sex lives, book pyramid schemes, menopause, a pricey intimate companion, and my daughter’s new love.
Download Christmas Letter 1995.pdf (11.8K)
Great site! You have a great selection of Christmas letters. I am trying to compose my first Xmas letter and after reading some of yours I have some good idea's on what to say and how to format my letter. Thanks for the tips! :-)
Denise in Alabama
Posted by: Denise | October 20, 2005 at 07:47 PM
Came across your sight by accident, but I love it! I haven't laughed this hard in months.
Posted by: Shawn | October 29, 2005 at 09:55 AM
Creative writer you are! I was looking for a way to spice up the boring Christmas letter and you certainly gave me some ideas.
Thanks and keep 'em coming!
Missie
Morris, IL
Posted by: Missie Wright | November 27, 2006 at 12:07 PM