Are you God? Take the test.

Lots of people believe that God can manifest in a human form.

So, why not yours or mine? Speaking for myself (though if I'm God, I'm really speaking for everybody), I'm hugely attracted to the notion that I'm worthy of worship.

Unfortunately, other people aren't as attuned to my potential divinity. Notably, my wife. For eighteen years I've been trying to convince her that the way I load the dishwasher is The Way It Should Be, by divine decree.

For some reason she can't recognize my husbandly perfection. So today I was excited to see a post on the Radhasoami Studies forum, "How to Tell Whether You Are God," anticipating that it could convince my wife that I am.

Big letdown. I scored zero. Here's the test.

Some individuals on this forum may have difficulty discerning whether
or not they are God in Human Form. The following easy test should
help you determine this.

1. Can you fly through the air, without an aircraft? Tornadoes don't
count. If you feel you can do this, try flying from home to New York
City to Los Angeles and back home, to confirm your capability in this
regard.

2. Can you dematerialize and rematerialize at any location, at will,
instantly? Try hopping to Istanbul, Belfast, Moscow, Toronto,
Auckland, Delhi and Ulan Bator.

3. Are you omniscient? Get the closing prices for all stocks on the
major US exchanges for the coming week, and post them on an
investment web site, in advance. Ask the readers to see whether you
are God in Human Form.

4. Can you resurrect the dead? Try resurrecting 14 famous people who
have died in the past year, and while you're at it, cure the medical
conditions (including old age) that caused their death. Then hold a
press conference in which you present them. Make sure to have a
medical doctor present to take DNA samples to confirm their identity.

5. Can you post to the Internet without using a computer? Try it.

6. Can you time-travel? Bring back some extinct species for the
perusal of scientists.

7. Can you materialize objects at will? Go to a homeless shelter, and
materialize one million dollars in $20 bills for each resident.

8. Are you perfect in mind and body? Take an IQ test and see whether
you get the highest possible score. Time how long it takes for you to
run a mile.

9. Are you invulnerable, like Superman? Try going through a wood
chipper.

Scoring: If you pass all the tests, if you are not God, at least you
are a contender. If you missed any questions, sorry!

Though this test is humorous, it's got a serious side. There really are people walking around today who believe that they are God. Many others revere a living human being who is considered to be an incarnation of God.

Yet godly characteristics or abilities are nowhere to be found. That's why I enjoyed this post by ratnagarrao. If God has come down to our level, shouldn't there be something miraculous in the air?

Of course, we can redefine "God" so that the meaning is equivalent to the qualities of whoever claims this title. I've been taking this approach when I tell my wife that how I load the dishwasher is the ideal way it should be loaded.

Then, after I see her shake her head, I step back and let her rearrange the plates, cups, and wine glasses.

Comments

[Edward]

I passed. Prove me wrong.

[Phil Hanson]

I, too, failed to score any points. However, I came closest with #7; while I haven't yet mastered the art of materialization, I've got dematerialization down, brother. How else am I to explain the many socks, now MIA, that disappeared into the washer or dryer, never to be seen again?

[Roger]

Edward,

Being GOD.

Could you communicate something directly, in which, One will absolutely know and understand.

Thanks Roger

[Edward]

Roger, voila.

Just try not to be so stubborn.

[Robert Paul Howard]

Hereby another reason for atheism.

Robert Paul Howard

[Roger]

Edward,

Thanks for the communication.

Surely, there is value in communication that is direct and absolutely true.